A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
Tyler "Baguley" Skywalker is born, son of the former Jedi Dan-akin
Skywalker and heir to a family vastly powerful in the Force.
Within the Expanded Univers(ity of Oregon), on the planet Eugene, Tyler
performs rigorous Jedi training under the guidance of Jedi Master Yoda
(known among normal people as John F. W. Keana), where he hones his
laboratory skills and becomes a powerful Jedi Master protege. After the
tragic loss of his lightsaber during a fight with Darth Vader, Tyler is
awarded a replacement lightsaber (which doubles as a green laser pointer
for powerpoint presentations).
Yoda explains to Tyler that although he needs no further training, he will
not truly be a Jedi until he travels to a distant galaxy to learn from the
Grandmaster Pong. Without hesitation, Tyler races to the planet Bezerkeley
aboard his starship, eager to learn the ways of the Jedi and to finally
fulfill one of his lifelong dreams: to hear Jesse sing "Billie Jean" on
karaoke...while eating Zachary's pizza...
Email: tbaguley at calmail dot berkeley dot edu